they need to just BURY HIM!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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