nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
