just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
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The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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