Whoa Z and x make the same sound
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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