i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
honey bunches of taint.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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