I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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