If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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