Can i not drive my cunt home
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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