from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
