I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
