How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I faked an abortion last night.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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