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• (212): View more from New York

  True but thats because hes a fetus.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Did you just see the Batmobile???

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (518): View more from New York

  She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.

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• (718): View more from New York

  door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  The struggles of a small town man whore

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• (716): View more from New York

  He finger blasted me like an angel dude

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.

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