Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?

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  (651): Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women? http://tfl.nu/yufj
  Replies (23) Good night (2372) Bad night (1198)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?

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  (617): why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency? http://tfl.nu/lb38
  Replies (35) Good night (3366) Bad night (674)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Yes. For all mankind please do.

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  (512): The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her? (319): Yes. For all mankind please do. http://tfl.nu/4jly
  Replies (49) Good night (4884) Bad night (778)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Are you okay?

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.

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  (908): Are you okay? (508): Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry. http://tfl.nu/ztu1
  Replies (19) Good night (3319) Bad night (687)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?

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  (972): Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life? http://tfl.nu/jl0s
  Replies (34) Good night (3262) Bad night (932)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay

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  (781): So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay http://tfl.nu/35ja
  Replies (11) Good night (4795) Bad night (1476)
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  (805): View more from California

  I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.

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  (805): I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on. http://tfl.nu/fosj
  Replies (8) Good night (4105) Bad night (1008)
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  (530): View more from California

  Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.

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  (530): Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it. http://tfl.nu/z6l9
  Replies (5) Good night (2229) Bad night (767)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.

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  (205): I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter. http://tfl.nu/mhcf
  Replies (24) Good night (4264) Bad night (986)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.

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  (207): So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex. http://tfl.nu/btn2
  Replies (7) Good night (1099) Bad night (321)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  Are you at a park?

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  (740): I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS. (1-740): Are you at a park? http://tfl.nu/nmnn
  Replies (2) Good night (650) Bad night (246)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life

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  (570): Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life http://tfl.nu/7dpz
  Replies (2) Good night (275) Bad night (521)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit

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  (908): idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit http://tfl.nu/vbo6
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (284)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine

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  (937): I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine http://tfl.nu/8o8e
  Replies (1) Good night (626) Bad night (278)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore

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  (740): I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore http://tfl.nu/8kqe
  Replies (11) Good night (598) Bad night (204)

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