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Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
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