Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Pants are for mortals
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.