Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.

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  (212): I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home. http://tfl.nu/lyh0
  Replies (7) Good night (2510) Bad night (719)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.

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  (778): I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT. http://tfl.nu/jn8b
  Replies (17) Good night (1382) Bad night (4340)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?

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  (507): security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs? http://tfl.nu/7ki8
  Replies (5) Good night (2532) Bad night (1036)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.

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  (616): Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind. http://tfl.nu/1wb4
  Replies (8) Good night (2354) Bad night (971)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.

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  (307): puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done. http://tfl.nu/58vm
  Replies (3) Good night (2378) Bad night (766)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?

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  (248): Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya? http://tfl.nu/gd64
  Replies (5) Good night (1199) Bad night (508)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?

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  (972): I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda? http://tfl.nu/bxk9
  Replies (13) Good night (1982) Bad night (661)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  I thought I could.

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  (623): You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!' (1-623): I thought I could. http://tfl.nu/l4oh
  Replies (4) Good night (3269) Bad night (795)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"

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  (917): If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia" http://tfl.nu/fadd
  Replies (0) Good night (644) Bad night (848)
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  (914): View more from New York

  probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.

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  (914): probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate. http://tfl.nu/x46r
  Replies (10) Good night (521) Bad night (1417)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.

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  (701): Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day. http://tfl.nu/rivr
  Replies (9) Good night (1864) Bad night (501)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?

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  (407): Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box? http://tfl.nu/pams
  Replies (3) Good night (322) Bad night (608)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.

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  (731): I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office. http://tfl.nu/6ten
  Replies (3) Good night (951) Bad night (333)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook

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  (616): You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook http://tfl.nu/vdaj
  Replies (3) Good night (763) Bad night (176)
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  (916): View more from California

  He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.

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  (916): He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one. http://tfl.nu/ne8q
  Replies (1) Good night (782) Bad night (140)

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