Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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