whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
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You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
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He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm always down for nudity.
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