covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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