Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
