He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
