people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Bring me that man meat
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
