her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He felt like a one man threesome
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
