Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
