You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
