I've blown a few things in my day
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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