this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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