just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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