Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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