You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
