erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
