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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  the vacuum is drunk

  (703): View more from Virginia

  what?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.

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• (845): View more from New York

  I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth

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• (650): View more from California

  My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class

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• (253): View more from Washington

  There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.

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