Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
