you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
