i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
