I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
