And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
