Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
