I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
