I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
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composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
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I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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