I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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