Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
