What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
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She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
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I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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