you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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