There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell