Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.