I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.