Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Randomize
