So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize