he wants to bone in the snuggie
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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