She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize