Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
