Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
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Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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