Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
