and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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