Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
