You work out of a Hotel?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
