Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
