I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
