didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
