Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
