well you can't waste a boner
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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