dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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