My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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