i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
