Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
