We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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