I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
